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I’m Weary of Racial Constructs

October 4, 2011

Over on Wikipedia, there’s a tireless debate about President Obama’s race. Is he black? Is he white? Why do we have to call him “African-American”? It never ends. Because I’m an idea man, I’ve solved this problem for humanity. It’s time to move past the inauthentic human construct, the fiction we call “race”. Here’s how to do it.

Computer graphic arts programs are capable of using what’s called an “eye-dropper” to sample the color of any part of a digital image. It doesn’t return values like “African-American”, “Black”, “Caucasian”, or the like. Instead it returns a code, a precise code, which takes the form of the number sign (#) followed by a 6-digit combination of letters and numbers, as you can see here. This is an objective result, a dispassionate measurement, without bias or prejudice and with no preconceived notions or life experience to discolor the samplings.

Now, obviously, every skin traverses some array of color and some people’s skin can change hue over time. My method can accomodate that. Simply determine fixed sampling skin points, perhaps the nose, the shoulder, and the knee, or whatever scientists decide, and take readings at regular time intervals, perhaps at the midpoint of each Earth season. Results would be returned as ranges, for instance “#000000 to #010101″ for the President (I have no idea if this is correct, because I haven’t sampled his pictures yet), or in the case of Michael Jackson, we could say he was #000000 as a child but by the time of death was #FDEEF4.

Why not use the tools science has provided for us and put end an end to unproductive bickering? You’re welcome, humanity, for yet another gift from me.

#955F53 and proud!

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