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Westboro Fashion Week

September 9, 2011

So, as many of you know, my significant other is a fashion model. This provides me with endless ammunition for teasing her, as her profession is about 95% “Emperor’s New Clothes” farce (literally) and 5% contribution to the betterment of mankind. Just this week, I saw her flipping through the most recent version of Vogue Italia or Marie Claire, I forget which, when I saw something that made me do a double-take: a mostly-naked chick in exaggerated makeup wearing a leather(?) jacket, stripper boots, and a fur scarf-thingy on her neck. Oh yeah, and a titanium pirate skull covering her hoo-ha. You heard me. (OK, I made up the titanium part. At least, I think I did — who knows what it is?) See for yourself:

Ever wonder why it's called "high" fashion?

While I put Crys to work trying to hunt down that particular style of artifact to help spice up role-play Wednesdays here at Casa Barnett, I’ve been busy trying to imagine an appropriate public setting for that entire ensemble. Where would one wear that outfit? Job interview? Skiing? The US Open? I’m stumped. Or maybe I’m just being a judgmental snot. The thing is, I don’t find that outfit immoral — just ridiculous. But these people, on the other hand, are on a crusade against fashion:

A spokesman for the Fred Phelps-led “church” vowed yesterday to bring so much hate to Fashion Week that fashionistas will think John Galliano is in town. “The whole thing is vanity!” roared Westboro mouthpiece Steve Drain. “You’re going to teach the women, especially the young women of this country, to doll themselves up … All you are doing is teaching girls to be proud whores!”

He said the sect believes “the whole idea [of the] fashion industry is to make women look as whorish as possible and men look as effeminate at possible.”
Drain even offered up a little Bible-thumping fashion advice.
“Put some jeans on and fear God,” he told New Yorkers. “Forget about all this fashion nonsense.”

Quick, someone call the fashion police…

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